As you’ve no doubt heard, Mass Effect: Andromeda has some issues with its animation. Considering the game’s characters look like poorly-programmed robots wearing Halloween masks when they’re just standing around talking, you have to imagine things get really awkward during the "softcore porn" sex scenes. Well, brace yourself, because IGN recently posted two “romance” scenes starring Peebee and Cora. Set coordinates for the Cringe Nebula!
To be fair, the sexy stuff is better done than the random dialogue scenes in some respects. Clearly BioWare did their best to smooth out the janky animations for the space rutting, but they don’t quite get there, and boy oh boy, some of the dialogue is something to behold. If this is what flirting in space is like, I’ll keep my feet planted on good ol’ terra firma, thank you very much.
First up, the Peebee scene, which you can furtively check out above. Seems your blue squadmate is feeling stressed, so she decides to turn an escape pod into a makeshift antigravity chamber. She invites you in for a float, then immediately suggests some no-strings-attached weightless sex, because everything’s more chill in the future, maaaaan. Sadly, we only hear action. Probably because BioWare couldn’t figure out a way to show floaty sex without it becoming X-rated.
Speaking of X-rated, the Cora clip is a bit more NSFW. If you’re okay with the sight of digital butts, you can check it out by clicking the link, below.
Cora and Ryder (in a clown wig) do a little song and dance about a “lighting malfunction” in Ryder’s quarters, which leads to some embarrassing banter, gross wet-sounding kissing, and sappy pillow talk. Also, don’t forget the butts! This scene does not skimp on the butts!
You can play Mass Effect: Andromeda alone in a dark room on PC, Xbox One, and PS4 starting tomorrow!